And now, from the mind of Rodney Dangerfield, something to make you chuckle….

• A girl phoned me the other day and said .... "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
• If it weren't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
• And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy.... I would have had nothing to play with.
• During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
• Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
• When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
• I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
• My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
• When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father .... "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could....but he pulled through."
• My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
• I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
• Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my parents. I said to him ..... "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said ...
• "I don't know kid, there are so many places they can hide."
• My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
• I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.
• My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him I'd like a second opinion. He said .... "Alright, you're ugly too!"
• I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
• Return to Kibbles & Bits!