And now, from the mind of Rodney Dangerfield, something to make
you chuckle
.
- A girl phoned me the other day and said .... "Come on
over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
- If it weren't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
- And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy.... I would
have had nothing to play with.
- During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.
- Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a
shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the
handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
- When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a
toaster and a radio.
- My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked
me as a friend.
- When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room
and said to my father .... "I'm very sorry. We did everything
we could....but he pulled through."
- My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
- I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece
of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
- Once when I was lost I asked a policeman to help me find my
parents. I said to him ..... "Do you think we'll ever find
them?" He said ...
- "I don't know kid, there are so many places they can
hide."
- My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
- I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd
get.
- My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him I'd like
a second opinion. He said .... "Alright, you're ugly too!"
- I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My
doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
- Return to Kibbles & Bits!