Doug Turner’s Address at Graham Berkeley’s Memorial Service
Grace Church in New York City, October 12 2001

I first met Graham in England in 1989. We both worked for Sterling Software – he in Düsseldorf and I in Toronto - we were at a resort in the English countryside for sales training. I don’t remember what I learned that day, I do remember making a friend. We make many friends throughout our lives, our paths crossing and diverging, only to cross again some other time.  Graham’s and my paths have crossed more times than I can remember since that fateful day in the English countryside. Sometimes by chance, but more often by design.
 
Graham and I stayed in contact over the next couple years. And we laughed upon finding out that, by chance we were both moving to Los Angeles with Sterling. We worked closely together for several years there and after L.A. it was off to New York – this time by design. A small English software company needed help to start a U.S. based operation. Once I decided to make the move, I knew I would need help. Of course I turned to Graham. Not really knowing what I was getting myself in to, what I did know was that if I did it with Graham it would be more successful… and loads more fun.
 
Thinking about those days in New York, is like a dream right now. I can close my eyes and picture our dingy little office space, and see Graham’s face as we planned for bigger and better things. I remember Graham introducing me to this “consultant” friend of his named Frank – Frank Garcia. According to Graham, Frank was the “expert” who was going to come and help us move into the internet age. I remember so clearly the times Graham, Frank and I talked and argued about what to do, how to do it and how much it was going to cost, and whether or not Frank needed a Mac to make it work. It was only a year, but it was an incredible year – so much fun, so much passion.
 
And then along came Compuware. I remember the day I found out that Compuware had acquired our little company. I remember my first conversation with Graham. “Where’s Farmington Hills Michigan? What are they going to do with us? They don’t think we’re moving to Michigan do they? Cause I’m not moving to Michigan!” Well, within 6 months, we were both in Michigan. As my wife Sonia pointed out “if Graham can move to Michigan… anyone can move to Michigan”.
 
Every time there was a new business opportunity, by chance or by design, Graham and I seemed to be there together. Many people told us we were taking some big risks and making some bold moves. Well, I can tell you that for me, with Graham by my side, the risks somehow seemed smaller and I seemed somehow bolder.
 
I have said many times in my life… “the most important thing for me at work is to be with people that I like, that I can have fun with and that I can learn from.” What I really should say is “the most important thing for me at work is to be with people like Graham.” Listen to the words of the people who worked with Graham and you will understand: 


From KC:

“Everyone here at Compuware will miss Graham  … for he had a big influence of what we do.  Business dinners on the road always seemed louder, more boisterous, and more fun when Graham was there.”

 From Linda:

“I'll always remember Graham for his passion.  Passion for life, friends, work.  His passion for work and his desire to do what he thought was the right thing often brought us together in "interesting" discussions.  One day after a particularly "passionate" lunch discussion I came to work to find a card addressed to me on my desk.  I opened it to find a funny card from Graham apologizing for "being an ass".  In the card he included 2 tickets to an upcoming BSO concert that he was unable to attend.  That was Graham. “
 
From Harry:

“We spent many an hour at my home discussing business, politics and life. If there were one word I could use to describe him, it would be passionate. He was passionate about work, he was passionate about ideas, and he was passionate about people. It was this passion that bonded Graham and I; in our agreements and more so in our debates. Graham, we remember you, we miss you, and we will not forget you.”
 
From Jerry:

“I know Graham had suffered several losses during his life… yet he always came out full of life and ready to support his friends who needed it even as he was hurting.  I can imagine how he would have reacted to this tragedy and the solid support he would offer all of us.  Graham was the first boss I ever had who was younger than me.  This didn't bother me because I knew I had much to learn from his approach to work and life.”
 
And finally I’d like to finish with excerpts from a letter from Shari:

"Dear Graham …. It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I have sat down many times and could not find the courage or the words that seemed quite right. I've decided that I'll never have quite enough courage to face the realities of September 11. And quite unlike you, I will never find all the right words. I can't quite do justice to describe the sadness and emptiness on your passing. I have cried so many times in the last few weeks. But I know that you've left me (and clearly many others) with wonderful memories. 

I looked forward to your regular Monday morning phone calls about 5-10 minutes before Joe's staff meeting. They always made me smile. You know, the ones you'd make from the car that went something like: "Hi Shari, it's Graham", "I'm running late", and then something from the usual litany of excuses: "I had a problem with the car"  -  "I got a speeding ticket"  -  "I overslept"  -  "I decided to stay over on the Cape" And it always ended with "Cover for me in Joe's meeting", and I did. And so I have wished so many times in the last 3 weeks that you'd just stayed over the Cape one more time, just had a damn flat tire, or gotten another speeding ticket. Damn.|


I am really going to miss you. I had yet another good cry last night, and it's with great regret that I must tell you I won't be at the Memorial Service. I really want to be there, I think you know that. But I am torn by the terrified looks and pleas that the girls give me when I mention the possibility of going to 'the city'. And so I will stay here in NH that day, but know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and your friends.

Shari 

P.S. Hayley has decided to learn the violin. She remembered you playing it last year at Joe's house and really liked it. I hope she makes us proud."

Graham, I have asked many favors over the years, but I need to ask just one more… please find Sasha and give her a hug from all of us.

Return to the Order of Service